boom shaka laka

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/ghost-busted-2025

This is it! We're close to proving bakery hauntings, I can feel it!

Scoff all you like, but I was present at an undersea, unexplained mass sponge migration.

Not to mention they were wearing PANTS.

Look! Actual ectoplasmic residue! This is great!

"He slimed me."

Oh buck up, Frosty, you'll be fine.

Talk about telekinetic activity - look at this mess!

It's like the Salem mass Silly String turbulence of 1947. DEFINITELY supernatural origin.

You know, I collect spores, mold, and fungus...

...but that is just NASTY.

Listen! You smell something?

"There is no 'wee wee,' only stool."

Hm. You'd better get a sample.

What, you question my methods?

Back off, man; I'm a SCIENTIST.

That's better.

Oh, and whatever you do, don't cross the streams. That would be bad.

I can see you're still not convinced on this bakery ghost thing.

Then answer me this: would any human being stack cakes this way?

I rest my case.

Thanks to Anna S., Matthew Z., Alyssa P., Dylan W., Lindsey D., Cynthia C., & Anna A., who are pretty sure that sample cup means "you're in trouble."

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/ghost-busted-2025

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/the-wonders-of-punctuation-2025

Allow me to present a mini educational series on the "wonders" of punctuation.

[Cue the cheesy music!]

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Now remember, boys and girls: Punctuation can be a scary thing, but skipping it all together is never the answer.

Unless you want to command everyone to love their "senoirs."

On the other hand, filling your cake with the wrong punctuation isn't the answer, either.

Ah, a classic case of WTH: "Where's the H?"

Fortunately, punctuation allows us to add an appropriate level of enthusiasm to our greetings:

Pass the tissues. I think Linda is having a moment.

...not to mention convey our "sincerity":

And we mean that, Elizabeth. Like, soooo much.

(Btw, bonus points for the random asterisk. I assume the footnote came on a cupcake? That said, "Not really"?)

Of course, it is possible to go overboard from time to time:

Not to mention that pesky "you're" business.

Yep. Pesky.

And will someone please explain this?

Parentheses? Really? Look, bakers, I'm pretty sure no one has ever - EVER - ordered parentheses on a cake, so why would you even consider...

Ok, so ONE person ordered parentheses on a cake.

That just means you're both wrong.

"Congratulations."

Thanks to Andrea M., Anne G., Anna S., Linda J., Margaret J., Lisa, Kayla H., Debb D., & Bunny B., who I hear enjoy cooking their dogs and their families. So let's eat guys!

*****

P.S. For folks who appreciate a good linguistics lol:

"Synonym Rolls" T-Shirt

"Just like grammar used to make," hehehe. More colors at the link.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/the-wonders-of-punctuation-2025

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/wreckage-of-unusual-size-2025

In honor of one of the greatest movies of all time, I'd like to tell you a story.

It's a story of the man in black:

Who may or may not look like the Noid from those old Domino's commercials.

And also a beautiful princess:

It's a tale of fencing and fighting,

of torture and despair,

"I've just sucked one year of your life away.
Now I need a glass of milk."

...of chases, escapes, and, of course, twoo wuv.

Also known as "Twoo huv"

 There's also a subplot of a son avenging his father's murder.

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to... What's this? A cake?"

"Oooh, are those cherries?
I mean, uh...
Prepare to die.
And also pass me that fork over there."

Together, our heroes will defeat an evil prince, a wily Sicilian, a six-fingered man...

and, of course, Rodents Of Unusual Size.

"Hi."

"Btw, you may want to watch out for those popping noises. Trust me."

Bye bye, Jennifer B., Emily M., Jefferey W., Colin & Jen, Jan Y., Jennifer W., Nicole V., Rysha M., & Melanie H.! Have fun storming the castle!

Oh, and before I go: Anybody want a peanut?

*****

P.S. Or, if you want the "official" retelling, there's always this:

The Princess Bride, Deluxe Edition Hardcover

It contains 50 lovely full-page illustrations, but not a single anthropomorphic peanut. Sorry.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/wreckage-of-unusual-size-2025

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/we-need-more-rooster-tears-2025

"Missus Jen, how many wrecks does it take to get to the center of your resolve against believing in a voodoo curse placed on our bakeries' numeric suffixes?"

"Let's find out!"

Firth of all...
I really like saying "firth."

Toothly, allow me to point out that this is after they "fixed" it:

So I'm guessing it used to read "2rd."

(Psst. Say "2rd" out loud. Go on. It's fun! You know you want to.)

And thirthly...

Hey, that was fun. Let's try that again:

And thirthly...

(Resolve...weakening...)

And THIRTHLY...

They think the brown and yellow drips will distract us.

They're right.

Ok, ok, let's quit horsing around and get to business:

And thirthly:

Yep, that's it. I am now thoroughly convinced there is a nefarious Voodoo plot formed in the bowels of some super villain's bakery to make us all sound like Daffy Duck.You just can't argue with this kind of evidence.

But we're on to you, super villain! We know you're out there!

Ok, fine, you've made your point. Clearly we are at your mercy.

Aaand now you're just showing off.

In fact, Mr. or Mrs. Super Villain, I think I speak for us all when I say: "You're dethspicable."

Thanks to Anne, Jessica B., Sarah S., Jamie R., Kacey S., Vivek R., Teri R., & Diane C., who I've just inducted into my new Superhero League, Capes for Cakes. Report to the secret lair for your lassos and piping bags.

*****

P.S. You seem stressed. Take two of these and don't call me in the morning:

Squishy Stress Voodoo Doll

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/we-need-more-rooster-tears-2025

Posted by Lindsey

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/sunday-sweets-simply-stunning-2025

I think it was Martha Stewart who once said, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."

Oh, whoops - actually that was Leonardo DaVinci.

Either way, I bet Leo and Martha would both give sincere fist-bumps of approval to the bakers of these simple yet stunning wedding cakes:

Submitted by Rachel G., found here, baker unknown.

Speaking of Martha, she's probably going to be hunting down the baker so she can feature this divine cake on the cover of her next magazine. That's a very Good Thing!

Sub'd by Danny C., made by Choux Designer Cakes & Pastries

Fully-blossomed roses, fondant "fabric" and seed-pearl piping all scream demurely whisper "simple sophistication!"

Sub'd by Lynne P., made by Sweet Perfection

Layers of flowers, polka dots, lace edging, quilt stitching, and paisley might sound like a whole lot of crazy on a single cake, but in monochrome, they make it a masterpiece.

By Bobbette and Belle

This cake is so modern and chic, I somehow want to eat it, wear it and decorate my house with it at the same time! ­

Sub'd by K.I., made by Bee's Cake Design

Of course, simple does not = easy! Those painted flowers use a technique called "brush embroidery," for example, which obviously requires waaaay more effort than buying pre-made flowers, sticking them on a cake, and pretending you made them yourself. Which I would never do. Very often. Again.

Hey, not everyone is born with a flair for fondant flower-forming! But this next baker was:

Sub'd by Rebecca S. and made by her friend Jenny, amateur cake prodigy

And would you believe Jenny was only 14 years old when she made this? Fourteen!

I know, right?!

By Design Cakes

This explosion of roses set against such a basic backdrop is so striking. And the single petal drifted off to the side? Perfection.

Of course there are other options if you prefer your cakes flower-free. Like diamonds!

Sub'd by K.L., made by The Cake Company

I'm not sure if those are jewels or simply silver dragees (totally had Google that word, and was a little concerned about typing in "edible silver balls"), but either way that's some beautiful bling.

Made by the amazing Rylan T. of Art and Appetite

This four-tiered cake with cleverly chosen designs that symbolize true devotion (turtle doves), peace (olive branch), and perfection, light, and life (fleur de lis) may not quite qualify as simple - but stunning? You betcha!

By Lorinda Seto

Such an exacting design leaves zero room for imperfections, and I can't spot a single one! I love the alternating damask pattern, and how the color scheme manages to look playful and grown up at the same time. Just gorgeous.

That's all for today! Thanks for reading, and just so you know: "You're simply the best!"

Happy Sunday!

*****

P.S. You know how everyone is decorating with these cute wall bats for spooky season?

Well I found them on Amazon! They're re-usable PVC - so weatherproof - and cost less than $10 for a pack of 56. While you're there I highly recommend scrolling the customer image gallery, too, for cute decorating ideas like this.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/sunday-sweets-simply-stunning-2025

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/twice-makes-nice-2025

Remember, bakers, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Perhaps I should rephrase that.

Um...

Oh! How about this:

If at first you don't succeed, do something different the second time.

Going in circles, we are.

See, generally you're going to want to erase your first attempt, and then try to improve things the second time.

Hey, way to put the "DUN DUN DUNNN" in redundant!

Don't worry, though; with a little practice and repetition, you too can tell people to go pee themselves.

Er...yeah!

Go, go, go!

Thanks to Cat W., Laurie M., Christina A., & Terry L.

Thanks to Cat W., Laurie M., Christina A., & Terry L.

*****

P.S. In case this post wasn't painful enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/twice-makes-nice-2025