suck my root soup

[mrflagg]

Go shopping. Pick up a 2 to 3 lb butternut squash. Fondle the squai's (remember to look up the plural for squash later) and eye the milfs in the apple section. When you've found one you like (squash ... not milf) head over to the rutabegas. Marvel that you've never purchased a rutabega before. Wonder how you can tell a good rutabega from a bad rutabega. Settle on one that looks live Jupiter and move on before saying rutabega too many times. Realize its too late. Ponder that AMC should have made a car called the rutabega. Imagine rutabega collectors and guys reminising about getting laid in the back of their 77 bega. Head for the beets. Get a small bunch.

I'm going to assume you already have 2 pounds of white potatos at home. And 20 baby carrots, a large red onion and a bulb of garlic.

Peel, seed and cube the squash. Peel and cube the taters. Trim, scrub and peel the beets. Reenact a CSI scene while your hands are all red. Peel and cut the onion into 1/2 wedges. Try and explain to the cops why your hands are covered in blood and your crying. Cut the baby carrots in half because they are sad they aren't getting prepped as well. Peel and cube the rutabega. Be sad that you didn't get a new knife set for xmas because that certainly would have made this easier. Peel six cloves or garlic. And then knowing you can never have too much garlic peel another six. Figure at this point you might as well just use the whole bulb.

Crank the slow cooker to high and let it preheat for a few minutes while you mix up 3 tablespoons of walnut oil and ... oh whats that? you don't have walnut oil? Well hell I've never even seen it. Just use olive oil and try not to be too literal with these instructions. Anywho mix it up with some pepper and anything else you think might taste good in roasted veggies. Except garlic powder.



Drizzle this all over those cubed up things in the comically over sized bowl and toss gently. Or toss violently if thats your thing. I'm pretty sure vegetables don't care. Dump all this in the slow cooker, place 3 medium quartered tomatos on top and leave it roasting on high for 4 hours.

Puree in batches with 4.5 cups of vege stock and return to the cooker for another 30 minutes.

Then enjoy with some nice garlicy croutons

Comments

[lovelychickadee.livejournal.com]

You'd think that with three months of this lying around, you could have run it through a grammar check once or twice...

[flagg2ptoh.livejournal.com]

je ne pas grammar nazi

[abluegirl.livejournal.com]

This soup sounds amazing. I never would have thought of using beets in a squash soup - i'll have to try it now. They carry walnut oil at my local loblaws, so yay. :)

I dare you to post this to Allrecipes with the instructions just like it is. :)